My God Is so Wonderful! Jesus I love you, please allow this blog to be a blessing to your kingdom. I dedicate this online journal to You. I am nothing without You. You are the author and finisher of my faith. Please help me to hear and obey your voice.
A few days ago I started struggling with a certain temptation, I've had it before, but this time it was strong because I fed it. No I did not succumb to this desire, or impulse I had, but I thought on it, excused it, even made provision for it by putting myself in places where it could have overwhelmed me. I wont disclose what it was, for I wish not to glorify it. However all sin is equal to death, and while some things aren't spelled out as sin in the Bible, they invoke compromise, which eventually leads to sin.
Its funny how our flesh is. All it takes is one day without praying and then its harder to pray the next day. Then thoughts begin to creep in, offences are more frequent and things we have overcome begin to beckon us to revisit those old dried up places, promising it will satisfy us this time. Perhaps you are better than I, but for me all it takes is a day or two of not praying and praising God and all of a sudden life begins to look bleak, I get irritable, and I temporally forget why I have certain lines drawn in the sand. I stop focusing on helping others and start focusing on me. My problems, my wants, my feelings, my needs, and on and on.
For the past week I haven't really prayed like I needed and I got offended a few times and really started feeling sorry for myself. It was like I totally forgot all the blessings God has poured out on me, all the times He has provided and all I could see was how mean some folk are and how hurt I felt. Then these thoughts began to arise about doubts, fears and filling my desires elsewhere. I really allowed the flesh to run wild in my mind. I even went as far as going somewhere I knew there would be compromise, but thank God, I had the sense to call a friend to hold me accountable! I called a godly friend and told them what I was contemplating and they kindly listened and pray with me. That helped so much and I was able to flee temptation. The next day I was still feeling offended and victimized and so I continued contemplating on my desire to compromise, but I didn't. Then Sunday I was still feeling offended, angry and out of sorts, however I put that aside for a little while to fulfill my ministry, but I wasn't even able to enjoy the fruit of my labor, because of my attitude.
We didn't have service going that night and I really wanted to go to church somewhere but it was already getting late as I thought about it. Well, I went to my churches youth center to go help clean and one of the girls was talking about wanting to go visit another church that evening. Then I realized there was a good church not to far that had night service and I went. Praise God, He spoke to me during worship, the word, in prayer and boy, did I pray through! Hallelujah I felt so good when I left church last night. It wasn't all emotion either, it was because God dealt directly with the areas I was struggling with. I love that! No one knew in that church what I was going through but Jesus did! That temptation died last night and I desire afresh to know the voice of my Lord and not to stray from the path of consecration and holiness. Holiness is beautiful. God is holy! I desire to know His voice.
See the problem is, our human reasoning can only take us so far. There come times when the trials and the pain is so loud that it gets confusing because we don't know what voice to listen to. Should we leave, should we stay put, should we run, should we walk, should we shout, should we stay silent, should we hide, should we confront, should we speak, should we listen, what should I do? The voices today are loud, they are giving us reasons, they are offering excuses as to why we don't have to consecrate, they are telling us to go in the way society is going, they tell us were too old fashioned, too legalistic, too rigid, too simple, too passionate, too emotional, too loud, too submissive, too modest, too pure, too forgiving, too kind, too giving, too faithful, too literal, too out-of-touch, too spiritual, too godly, too holy. And, with all the chaos and all of the voices of this life trying to get our attention, how do we know which voice to listen to. How do we recognize the voice of God out of all the others?
We pray, we worship, we read His Word and we listen to our pastor (assuming he is a pastor that believes, lives and preaches the Word of God). We get emotional with Him and we retrain ourselves to listen and obey His voice. His voice will manifest itself through the man of God (our pastor), elders in our lives, in prayer and reading His word. His will is not for any of us to perish, but for all us to repent. He is not a cruel task master. He loves us and has good plans for us, but in order to receive His blessings, we must obey His voice.
He knows our desires and He knows our struggles, but He will allow us to go through the storms to test our ability in hearing and obeying His voice. He doesn't want us to fear because even when the fire burns and the earth quakes and the winds howl and the waters rise, he is there, and if we listen, there is a still small voice.
