CURRENT MOON

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Many are called few are chosen

I have read many many articles, statistics, studies about nursing. I have read blogs, wrote blogs spread the word as much as I can. My intent was never to offend or hurt moms but to raise awareness of a simple truth. Getting back to basics. I suppose in any social endeavor one can reach a place of sheer frustration when you see injustices and blindness. There are so many lies and half truths, fables, deceptions mass brain washings that have kept so many women in our country bound to their ideas of social acceptance, beauty, health and other issues. Breastfeeding is just one of the many things that have been turned around in modern day American society. The truth is I will never be able to convince every women to nurse and extended nurse her child because not everyone wants truth. People are so attached to their lies and conventional understanding that to part from it would be to them like losing a limb. They have become that lie. Whether is a lie the drug company sold them, or a 'doctor' or a teacher or a loved one or the mainstream media or their preacher.... The light of truth for one not ready or accepting is painful and harsh. They attack the speaker of the truth because its easier than attacking the truth itself. It is not easy to awaken from slumber it a struggle and a fight. A butterfly must struggle and fight to break out of that cocoon or she will die in there, never having flown. As humans here now we have been fed deceptions since birth. Truths we even knew as small children were talked or spanked away from us. We have been silenced, dumbed down, drugged and told to do what were told by the powers that be (corporations (drug industry, food/dairy industry, industrial industry, clothing marketers, toy marketers, oil companies, bankers..). We have been brain washed to be slaves to this money driven corporation called the United States of America. We were told: we need their shots, we need their formula, we need their drugs (medication), we need their clothes, we need their shoes, we need their brand names, we need their purses, we need their chemically and genetically modified food, we need their entertainment (Hollywood), we need their make up, we need their cars, we need their houses, we need their credit cards, we need their banks, we need their gas, we need their licenses, we need their jobs, we need their (mandatory) 'education', we need their loans, we need their wars, we need their help.... People in this 'country' are not free. They are trapped in a money system that is almost impossible to escape. People are deceived by the dollar. Young people are walking zombies because they are hypnotized by their rap/rock music. We have no real voice in our government and have no real clue of whats going on. We just do what were told by the powers that be. Some of us question the system but when we do so out loud our family, friends will joke or tease, maybe call us conspirisy theorists, many of us stop right there because we cant bear being an outcast. Some go on and insist, no somethings not right, so then your bureaucrats come along, or your officials (pastors, politicians, government, anyone who you see as an authority) and they tell you theres nothing to be upset or worry about, your rocking the boat calm down, your being judgmental, your thinking too much, aww its not that bad, thats cult thinking...and they will try to convince you to stop moving away from conventional babylon system. Their mission is to lull you back to your comfort zone. If you still are asking questions and seeking truth after being laughed at, mocked, 'talked down', bribed.. then you will have to deal with learning to stand alone. Many are called few are chosen.

I need you

Where do I go from here

I miss your presence

Feeling you near

I fell so far from grace

Why did I do that

Now I'm on my face

Begging for your mercy

Needing your grace

The power to change

From the thoughts that plague

My Mind

So caught up inside

This place of fear and confusion

Lord I need rest

Know I dont deserve you

I failed the test

I knew your too good for me

Crying for your hand

Please hold me

I'm still yours

Wash my hair

Rinse me from this filthiness

Please kiss my ear

Make me over

I need you now

I need you more

I need you to love me

Take me to that place

Take me to your secret place

Hold me till I cry no more

Oh Lord I need you

Silent Scarred

Hollywood isn't the only place people are acting. For many their life is a big screen. They go through life pretending everything is ok when in reality they are hurting deeply. Why is it that some hide their hurt and pretend its not there? They are so wounded they grasp like an animal at anything they think will numb this gaping wound of their soul. They don't truly love themselves and are unable to love others. They need healing. So why the refusal to heal? Perhaps it takes too much humility to admit your ruined, broken, hurting, perhaps asking for help is hard when your pride is in the way. I think there are even some who feel unworthy of healing. They have done/ thought things they are ashamed of and feel they must live some sort of life long penance. The truth is most of us have hurt and shame. There is indeed a place of healing and I believe it is open to those who will be honest with themselves and God.

Breast Feeding and your baby

Holding my baby for the first time and having her instinctively suckle my breast is a moment in time I am forever grateful to have experienced. The way she rooted for milk and the loving way she stared at me while breastfeeding echos in my soul ,deepening my love, bond and affection for my daughter. Now a little over a year later we still share that incredible connection every day. Abigail is thirteen months and is still a happily breast fed baby. She eats solids when she wants but often she prefers to nurse. She doesnt know how to drink from a bottle, as one was never introduced as an alternative, but she does have a sippy cup she drinks her water and occasional bit of juice from. Her and I are happy to continue nursing for as long as she needs.

Once upon a time children breast fed till they naturally weaned themselves. Now most children in America are quite lucky to be breast fed till six months. It is commonly considered odd for a mother to still be nursing a child after a year, I know this from personal experience, people, women in particular, gawking when I tell them that I am nursing past a year.There are various opinions on breastfeeding and extended nursing (breastfeeding beyond one year) ranging from indifference, assuming it is an unimportant insignificant detail as trivial as choosing between having your ice cream in a cup or cone to those who think breastfeeding is gross, sexual or something only meant to do for six months. There are even stories of people trying to take a child from their mother because they thought a child breast feeding at three years was abusive. Breastfeeding is a subject that can make some very uncomfortable while there are others (like me) who love to talk about it. I feel that it is important to discuss breastfeeding because there are still many women who are unaware just how important it is for both them and their child. It is also important to understand how society plays a role in a woman's choice to breastfeed and for how long. There are many benefits in full term breast feeding, allowing the child to naturally wean themselves. International weaning ages are between two and four years of age.

I will take a look at the list of health benefits for child and mother, compare breast versus formula fed children, and go over some of the mis information that discourages breastfeeding.

Without controversy the health benefits of breast feeding your child are innumerable. To begin with both the World Health Organization and American Academy of Family Physicians recommend exclusive nursing for six months (no formula) and continued breastfeeding along with food for at least two years.

In fact any reputable health care professional knows and will tell you not only is breast best but the benefits stack up the longer you nurse your child.

Children who are breast fed: Have higher i.q.s (the breast milk is designed to aid healthy body, brain function)

Have healthier immune systems (antibodies are passed down through your milk)

Is known and studied to protect against SIDS, inner ear infection, diarea and many other common infections found more often in artificially fed children

Most hospitals for years have purposely done things to discourage women from breast feeding. Most hospitals will give a new mom a bag with free formula in it and have samples of formula in her room, even after she says she has decided to breast feed ( I know this from first hand experience and documentation).

Women have to be strong and determined in this world if they want to nurse their child. They must fight against crooked ‘health professionals’ at hospitals that may try to offer their child a bottle or pacifier, they must resist ignorant friends and family who tell them breastfeeding isnt important, they must overcome the pressuers of work, they have to fight the lies they may have been told by other moms that they may not have enough milk. Women fight, fight for that babies right to have a healthy stary physically and emotionally. If you dont fight now you may have to fight later.... the medical bills from issues that could have been easily prevented had you chosen to breastfeed... the emotional issues that could stem from your child not recieving their instinctive right to bond with their mother in breastfeeding.

Scriptures about breast feeding (it was and still is considered normal and natural) and links to more Bible based proof that breast is intended for nursing a child.

http://www.texas-midwife.com/breastfeeding.htm

http://www.motheringfromtheheart.com/whatgod.htm

Luke 11:27 ESV

As he said these things, a woman in the crowd raised her voice and said to him, “Blessed is the womb that bore you, and the breasts at which you nursed!”

Lamentations 4:3 ESV

Even jackals offer the breast; they nurse their young, but the daughter of my people has become cruel, like the ostriches in the wilderness.

Isaiah 66:10-13 ESV

“Rejoice with Jerusalem, and be glad for her, all you who love her; rejoice with her in joy, all you who mourn over her; that you may nurse and be satisfied from her consoling breast; that you may drink deeply with delight from her glorious abundance.” For thus says the Lord: “Behold, I will extend peace to her like a river, and the glory of the nations like an overflowing stream; and you shall nurse, you shall be carried upon her hip, and bounced upon her knees. As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you; you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.

Psalm 22:9 ESV

Yet you are he who took me from the womb; you made me trust you at my mother's breasts.

Isaiah 49:15 ESV

“Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.

Proverbs 5:18-19 ESV

Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.

1 Peter 2:2 ESV

Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation—

Genesis 49:25 ESV

By the God of your father who will help you, by the Almighty who will bless you with blessings of heaven above, blessings of the deep that crouches beneath, blessings of the breasts and of the womb.

1 Thessalonians 2:7 ESV

But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children.

Hosea 9:14 ESV

Give them, O Lord— what will you give? Give them a miscarrying womb and dry breasts.

Job 3:12 ESV

Why did the knees receive me? Or why the breasts, that I should nurse?

Luke 23:26-31 ESV

And as they led him away, they seized one Simon of Cyrene, who was coming in from the country, and laid on him the cross, to carry it behind Jesus. And there followed him a great multitude of the people and of women who were mourning and lamenting for him. But turning to them Jesus said, “Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me, but weep for yourselves and for your children. For behold, the days are coming when they will say, ‘Blessed are the barren and the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed!’ Then they will begin to say to the mountains, ‘Fall on us,’ and to the hills, ‘Cover us.’ ...

Job 39:13-17 ESV

“The wings of the ostrich wave proudly, but are they the pinions and plumage of love? For she leaves her eggs to the earth and lets them be warmed on the ground, forgetting that a foot may crush them and that the wild beast may trample them. She deals cruelly with her young, as if they were not hers; though her labor be in vain, yet she has no fear, because God has made her forget wisdom and given her no share in understanding.

Genesis 21:8 ESV

And the child grew and was weaned. And Abraham made a great feast on the day that Isaac was weaned.

Genesis 21:7 ESV

And she said, “Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would nurse children? Yet I have borne him a son in his old age.”

Lamentations 4:4 ESV

The tongue of the nursing infant sticks to the roof of its mouth for thirst; the children beg for food, but no one gives to them.

Isaiah 49:23 ESV

Kings shall be your foster fathers, and their queens your nursing mothers. With their faces to the ground they shall bow down to you, and lick the dust of your feet. Then you will know that I am the Lord; those who wait for me shall not be put to shame.”

Breastfeeding your baby is the best way to feed them. Lets just look at the logic, baby cows drink cows milk, baby goats drink goats milk and human mothers naturally produce milk from their breast for their babies. It makes sense, so one must ask why do so many mothers use a man made formula instead of free natural milk.

Top 5 reasons Some women choose not to breast feed their baby

1.They are not fully educated about how good it is for their child (hopefully if they knew they'd breastfeed) (statistics show women under 20, lower income American women, and African American women have some of the lowest breastfeeding numbers)
2.They have to go back to work (there are many women who pump at work and exclusive feed their children breastmilk)
3. They have a one dimensional view of the breasts purpose (they have been taught the breast is only erotic and haven't been taught it is also for nurturing and feeding)
4. They dont have support from family(breastfeeding takes time and you need people who are supportive and sensitive to you and baby)
5. They have been told its hard to do or painful or think they dont have enough milk (truth is scientifically most women are completely capable of nursing their children)

The World Health Organization says : Breastfeeding is the normal way of providing young infants with the nutrients they need for healthy growth and development. Virtually all mothers can breastfeed, provided they have accurate information, and the support of their family, the health care system and society at large.

Colostrum, the yellowish, sticky breast milk produced at the end of pregnancy, is recommended by WHO as the perfect food for the newborn, and feeding should be initiated within the first hour after birth.

Exclusive breastfeeding is recommended up to 6 months of age, with continued breastfeeding along with appropriate complementary foods up to two years of age or beyond.

Moms wake up formula is not a healthy choice for your child! Science has proven breastfeeding your child:

Best for Baby:

• Research shows that breastfed infants have fewer and shorter episodes of illness.
• Breastfeeding is the most natural and nutritious way to encourage your baby’s optimal development.
• Colostrum (the first milk) is a gentle, natural laxative that helps clear baby’s intestine, decreasing the chance for jaundice to occur.
• The superior nutrition provided by breastmilk benefits your baby’s IQ.
• Breastfeeding is a gentle way for newborns to transition to the world outside the womb.
• The skin-to-skin contact encouraged by breastfeeding offers babies greater emotional security and enhances bonding.
• The activity of sucking at the breast enhances development of baby’s oral muscles, facial bones, and aids in optimal dental development.
• Breastfeeding appears to reduce the risk of obesity and hypertension.
• Breastfeeding delays the onset of hereditary allergic disease, and lowers the risk of developing allergic disease.
• Breastfeeding helps the baby’s immune system mature, protecting the baby in the meantime from viral, bacteria, and parasitic infections.
• Breastfeeding increases the effectiveness of immunizations, increasing the protection against polio, tetanus, and diptheria vaccines.
• Breastfeeding protects against developing chronic diseases such as: celiac disease, inflammatory bowel disease, asthma, and childhood cancers.

The benefits of breastfeeding appear to last even after the baby has been weaned.

Lack of Breastfeeding Increases the Risk to the Infant of:

• Ear infections
• Childhood diabetes
• Obesity
• Gastrointestinal and diarrheal infections
• Childhood cancers
• SIDS
• Respiratory infections
• Allergies
• NEC (necrotizing enterocolitis)

Best for Mother:

• Research shows that breastfeeding benefits the health of mothers.
• Breastmilk is always fresh, perfectly clean, just the right temperature, and is the healthy choice at the least cost!
• Increased levels of oxytocin stimulate postpartum uterine contractions, minimizing blood loss and encouraging rapid uterine toning.
• From 3 months to 12 months postpartum, breastfeeding increases the rate of weight loss in most nursing mothers.
• Breastfeeding offers some protection against the early return of fertility.
• Because breastfed babies are healthier, their mothers miss less work and spend less time and money on pediatric care.
• Breastfeeding women report psychological benefits such as increased self-confidence and a stronger sense of connection with their babies.

Lack of Breastfeeding Increases the Risk to the Mother of:

• Urinary tract infection
• Pre-and post-menopausal breast cancer
• Ovarian cancer
• Osteoporosis

Links to check out

http://www.who.int/features/factfiles/breastfeeding/facts/en/index.html

http://www.who.int/features/factfiles/breastfeeding/en/index.html

http://www.motheringfromtheheart.com/Benefits.htm

http://www.breastfeeding.com/all_about/all_about_more.html

http://www.llli.org/NB/NBbenefits.html

The World Health Organisation estimates that 1.5 million infants die around the world every year because they are not breastfed. This figure has been stated in this and other forms by WHO and UNICEF many times over the years. The UNICEF website states (on 13 August 2007): "It has been estimated that improved breastfeeding practices could save some 1.5 million children a year. Yet few of the 129 million babies born each year receive optimal breastfeeding and some are not breastfed at all. Early cessation of breastfeeding in favour of commercial breastmilk substitutes, needless supplementation, and poorly timed complementary practices are still too common. Professional and commercial influences combine to discourage breastfeeding, as do continued gaps in maternity legislation." For example, see UNICEF's publication State of the World's Children 2001which states: "Improved breastfeeding practices and reduction of artificial feeding could save an estimated 1.5 million children a year."

The Storm

Ever since I have returned from my disastrous flirtation with the world I have struggled more within than ever before. My life as I knew it fell apart and amidst all the brokenness and chaos I have the most precious gift in the world to love, cherish and look after.

I guess that's what makes everything all the more difficult, because all I want is for her life to be filled with joy, laughter, health, eternal life, beauty, creativity, compassion, sincerity and every other wonderful blessed emotion, life, encounter, experience, existence a loving parent would want for their child. My heart beats for her every moment. I dream of her in my sleep. I never want her to know bad pain and see the corruption or worse be negatively affected by it.

I would lay down my life for her. I want to be the perfect mommy, not in the sense of spoiling her innocence with a lust for this worlds goods. No, materialism is not an option. I just want to guard her God given purity and wonder. I want to show her how to be a loving, sensitive, godly compassionate person, who has a zest for uncovering the simple joys of life, the smell of air after the rain, a rainbow, a hundred year old redwood, the smile of a person who's day you just made better, the taste of fruit that just fell from a tree, the sound of music as it makes your toes wiggle and hips sway, the sound of silence, meditating on Psalms and other sacred writings, feeling tears flow as the Presence of God washes over your soul, to name some.

So this flurry of purpose and emotion that grips my soul when I look at my daughter or think of her, is co-habitating with this wretched fear of destruction, failure, guilt, pain, remorse, uncertainty, loneliness, grief, self loathing that has everything to do with me failing God and falling so far from where I was.

I have no idea where I belong, what I am supposed to do, whom I'm supposed to trust. I cant leave her and get a job because then I'm allowing a stranger to raise my child, which goes against every fiber of my being, so then I look for babysitting jobs where I can take her with and even if this does work and I get the job, what of the future? That's just the basic human responsibility I face, not to mention the question of my eternity, our eternity. Am I going to raise her to love God? I read the Bible to her daily, I tell her the 10 commandments everyday. I cry out for her soul. Is this enough? I fast, I censor what we hear and see. I only speak life. Is that enough?

I also think of the state of this world. The moral decay that has consumed my generation or at least is trying to. The physical destruction people mindlessly do the planet, our home in this life, and I wonder how much time is left? How much more evil will it take before everything falls apart? I want to find safety in the church but I see from state to state church to church lukewarm attitudes. People consumed with self and no real interest in the lost and dying world we live in or even their alleged 'brothers' and 'sisters'. Where are the wailing women?

I look in the mirror at a woman who is scared, alone, shaken,and hates who she's become. I see a woman that is hurt seemingly beyond repair, a woman who never was good at 'the game', who's only true desire is to be loved and love.

Where did everything go wrong? How do I piece it back together? Is this something I am to do alone? And if so, am I equipped to do the job? I struggle to believe the way I once did, my mind standing in the dangerous territory of double mindedness. My soul screaming for a saviour, but feeling unworthy to receive. I cry if not for me then for her. She's done nothing wrong, she deserves a fighting chance. I need a friend but the question is who is real and who has the answers. Who will help me and not give me a heartless deadline, making sure I understand I need to stand on my own two feet I KNOW I NEED TO STAND ON MY OWN TO FEET!! I KNOW I NEED TO CARRY MY WEIGHT. I KNOW I NEED TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE GREATER GOOD! But how can I stand when I am crippled? I need healing. How can I carry my weight when I don't know where to start? I need a guide and direction. How can I contribute when I don't know where I fit in? I need a place.

So as you can see there is a lot going on within and without. A storm some call it. A place of waiting. My heart is heavy right now and I know I am not the only one. I just hope through all this I will be the best mommy in the world. I give her what she needs but I want to give her a mother who is at peace, not just going through the motions of living life.

Its a Girl!!!!!!

For those who read my last blog and knew I was waiting till birth to know if I was having a boy or girl, well its a girl! I was so surprised and amazed and thankful all at the same time! She is absolutely beautiful and I am more in love than I have ever been! I named her Abigail Rose I thank God everyday for her almost as soon as I wake up. I went through some very tough times during my pregnancy (not with her but with life) and feel so blessed we pulled through and are here today. I thank God for my dad because without his love and support I don't know where me and my baby would be. Thanks to him we have our own nice big room, and all the things I need for baby. Abigail was blessed by our church family and family who bought her lots of goodies like clothes, towels, toys, a baby bed and even other things. We are happy, healthy and content. Thank you Jesus and family!